When I open the box from Babeland, The Womanizer looks like a cross between a Clarisonic Mia and the airbrush that Sara tried out a few days ago. If there wasn’t a giant fake jewel on it, I could’ve told you it was used as a vibrator during the times of Hysteria, and you probably would’ve believed me, because it’s that non-sexy looking. The press release guarantees women will orgasm in “60 seconds or less” and honestly, it scared me.
Sex toys of past, the ones you think of immediately when talked about, have been recognizably sex toys. They’ve been in the shapes of the genitalia that we all know and love. They’ve been a bit tacky but also endearing. They’ve also been luxury items that you feel fancy owning. They haven’t looked like Das Sound Machine from Pitch Perfect 2 would carry them around on their belts like gun holsters.
Even in the directions of The Womanizer, it says that there’s no need to move or grind, which while amazing for the lazy-girl in me, sounds counterproductive at best. The Womanizer seemed to have bypassed all the bump-and-grind of masturbation and made sex toys into vending machines: push a few buttons and out pops an orgasm. And that, to me, was frustrating. Why is it that sex toys have become more complicated and technologically advanced that I feel like a grandmother trying to figure out how Google works?
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