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For the month of September, Bustle’s Sex TBH package is talking about sex, honestly. We’re delving into how women approach the things they’re taught to be shy or embarrassed about in the bedroom — and, in doing so, we’re liberating people to live their best (sex) lives. Let’s do it.

I bought my first vibrator when I was 19, as a broke college student. I didn’t know much about vibrators other than the fact that I really wanted one, and I was too embarrassed to actually buy one at a sex toy shop so I ended up buying the cheapest rabbit vibrator I could find off eBay. I was so paranoid about whether or not it was sanitary that I used the toy over my underwear. Although it wasn’t the best on the market (and didn’t last me very long), ever since I bought that first vibe, I never looked back.

Accessorizing my sex life with a variety of toys and products has not only made masturbation much more pleasurable, but it’s helped me become more confident during sex. I know exactly what I need to reach orgasm, and being aware of my body helps me ask for what I want in bed, too. “An important part of a grown-ass woman’s mindset is understanding her needs and taking responsibility for making sure they’re met,” Dr. Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality and founder and host of the Sex with Emily podcast, tells Bustle. That means never being afraid to explore your body, your fantasies, and your sexual curiosities.


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